Building This Right
Resisting the Seduction of Metrics
I’m at the beginning of something. Not very far in, just a month or two of posting, a small but growing reach, products I’m developing that aren’t even launched yet. And already, I’m noticing the pull.
It would be easy to miss. The pull is subtle. It shows up as reasonable questions:
Who am I trying to reach?
What are their pain points?
Which posts get the most engagement?
These are normal questions. Smart questions, even. Every marketer asks them. Every business coach recommends them.
But I’m starting to notice something underneath those questions.
A shift.
A quiet pressure toward optimization.
Toward crafting posts that trigger rather than invite.
Toward understanding vulnerability not as something to honor, but as something to leverage.
Here’s the thing: I’m a fellow faith journey companion I have helped women navigate the messy middle of faith, that disorienting space where everything they thought they knew gets questioned, where Jesus starts to look different than the package they were sold, where doubt and faith get tangled together in ways nobody prepared them for.
This work matters to me. It should matter. But that’s exactly why I need to be careful.
When something matters this much, we become vulnerable to compromise. We tell ourselves small things:
Just understand your audience better.
Just make your message more visible.
Just optimize a little.
And before we know it, we’re not inviting people toward Jesus. We’re selling them toward him. Or worse, we’re selling them toward us.
The Questions I’m Wrestling With
How do I reach people without manipulating them?
How do I be visible without being performative?
How do I understand my audience without exploiting their pain?
I started noticing this when I began checking metrics. Not obsessively, but frequently enough that I could feel something shift in me. A little thrill when a post about doubt got more engagement. A subtle calculation: Oh, people respond to pain. Should I post more about pain? A quiet whisper: Maybe if I lean into the hard stuff, more people will find me.
And that’s when I realized: I was starting to think like a marketer, not a faith companion.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not against understanding reach or visibility. People need to find this work if it’s going to matter to them. But there’s a difference between making your work visible and making it irresistible through psychological design. There’s a difference between meeting people where they actually hurt and manufacturing hurt to meet them there.
What I’m Choosing Instead
I’m building this on a different foundation. Not because I’m morally superior. I’m not. But because I’ve spent years as a nurse, as a counselor, as a faith companion asking hard questions alongside people. And I know the difference between someone who’s genuinely walking with you and someone who’s subtly pulling you toward what serves them.
So here’s what I’m committing to:
I’m inviting, not convincing. My posts will ask questions more often than they provide answers. They’ll validate the mess without pretending to have solutions. They’ll point toward Jesus, not toward me.
I’m being honest about what I don’t know. I’m an imperfect follower of Jesus. I still have doubts. I still get it wrong. That’s not a liability to hide. It’s actually what makes this work credible.
I’m letting the products serve the journey, not drive it. The journals, the resources, they’re companions to a deeper work that’s already happening. They’re not the point. Jesus is the point.
And I’m checking metrics less often and asking better questions: Did this post invite people toward genuine wrestling, or toward me? Did it validate their experience, or exploit it? Would I say this the same way if nobody was watching?
The Invitation
If you’re doing work that matters to you, whether it’s spiritual, creative, entrepreneurial, you’re probably feeling this pull too. (Please, tell me I am not the only one.)
The pull toward optimization.
Toward understanding manipulative psychology.
Toward just a little bit of leverage.
I don’t think the answer is to ignore metrics or pretend marketing doesn’t exist. But I do think the answer is to stay rooted in something deeper than engagement numbers.
To ask: What am I really trying to accomplish here? And am I willing to let that question matter more than my reach?
The women I’m trying to walk alongside don’t need another influencer with the answers. They need someone who’s willing to sit in the questions with them. Someone who hasn’t figured it all out but is figuring it out faithfully.
That’s what I’m building. Not because it’s easier. But because it’s the only thing that actually honors what I’m called to do.
What about you?
Where do you feel the pull toward compromise in your own work?
What’s one question you’re wrestling with right now about integrity, about visibility, about staying true to what matters most?
I’d genuinely love to hear what you’re thinking about. Reply to this email, or just sit with the question yourself. Either way, you’re not alone in the wrestling.